There are many stories of saints, many of which tell that those saints had enjoyed their gorgeous lives so far, until they got tired of that, and then abandoned all their properties and jumped under the feet of God.
Until recently I had not liked those stories. I had thought as if they told “You can’t be a saint until you had consumed all entertainment of your flesh.”
But I looked back into myself about it.
I am now a Christian novice. I am excited in everything about God. I want to write everything about it. Sometimes I feel like I get rid of everything and jump into a Christian College.
Hey, wait. I have an occupation as a writer on computing. That still makes me fun. when I write some humble programs and see them run successfully, I feel great pleasure and a passion of making explanations rises in me. I also like learning science, technology and foreign languages.
They are also physical entertainment, aren’t they? Aren’t machines material, isn’t science physical phenomena( if not, why we call it “physics”) ? Isn’t brain a flesh?
There is a picture of the statue of Francis of Assisi, returning from a war without any success (referred from Wikipedia).
Look at his disappointment! Even the horse seems having lost his pride.
Am I completely exhausted and disappointed to my pleasure of flesh?
Not yet. I shall be too early to abandon it, until I would be like the above picture. Those saints might tell me two things:
1. Try everything with your own effort, and then beg God for a miracle.
2. Everything you do in the world is humble, as long as you do in the real world. Studying has no difference from eating and playing games under the feet of God.
After I came home from the church, I will continue writing my book on computing.